M(RI)AJOR BULLSHIT

lets cut to the chase. subtlety is for novels not blogs. certainly not the internet where everyone throws up their thoughts onto the world and hopes that someone catches the proverbial flu that is their ideas. with that being the climate of the writing community that i currently particicpate in, their is hardly a reason to say anything other than that i had an mri today. nothing serious. ive been experiencing numbness and chest pains, but honestly i think its just stress. college life is quite literally killing me, but then that is a subject for a separate blog post. the point is, mri’s suck ass hole. that might not be the way that chaucer would say things, had he ever had the opportunity to experience the modern medical marvel that is the mri, but it doesnt make it any less true. for those of you that dont know, an mri is a giant magnetic tube that takes pictures of the inside of your body. the entire ordeal takes forty five minutes, and if you move they have to redo it. i had two in a row, and the whole time i had to pee. i took to anyalizing my life up until that point, so as not to think about how confined i was. self analysis as far as i am concerned is never a good idea, but that couldnt be truer than when in the confines of a giant magnet designed to find fault with your interior. regardless, anaysis is exactly what i did. i wish i hadnt fallen asleep in church in front of my future fiances future deacon father the first time i met him. i eat too much pizza. i never work out as much as i say im going to. the sound quality on my videos suck. i shouldnt have yelled at my future fiances future deacon father the second time i met him over the phone because i thought he was a soliciter. i should have peed. i cant act for shit. i should have peed. i need to finish that research paper. god fucking damnit i should have fucking peed. i wish that i hadnt gotten into a shouting match in front of my future fiances future deacon father the third time that i met him….GOT FUCKING DAMNIT WHY THE MOTHER FUCKING STIRFY DID I NOT FUCKING PEE…oh. it’s over. you see what i mean? do you see the problem? do you see why no person should ever think about their lives for forty five minutes strait? and by the way, i had two consecutive mris. thats forty five strait minutes of wishing i hadnt done particular things in front of my future father in law, and contemplating pissing on what had to be a hundred thousand dollar piece of equipment. heres the kicker; best case scenario that hour and a half of hell was a completely unnecessary waste of time. anything else means that i am sick, or some other type shit that i certainly dont want in my life. do you see the problem? do you see the issue? do you understand why no one should even contemplate expoloring their minds, exploring their problems, investigating their health? mris are major bullshit. the only thing worse is being sick, and while i very much doubt that that will be what my next blog post is about, it leaves the situation as being less than what is to be desired.
thanks for reading kids,
paul durante
please follow me on twitter @DewmontPaul

About dailydewmontnews

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Posted on November 24, 2014, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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