Monthly Archives: December 2014

Slowing down to speed up

Hey guys let’s make this a no nonsense sort of post shall we. Given the holiday season and all I’ll leave my Schtick at the door. No angry teenager today, just a short post to clarify that no- I am not meeting my post quotas or even my video quotas but yes, that is just fine. I love writing and I really love it when people read my writing but right now, I don’t know….. It’s family time. My life is quite incredible right now-given my engagement and all. Life is far better than I ever thought it could be, and infinitely better than I deserve. While I act as though my entire purpose-my only hope for happiness is to make it as a writer or a director or what have you- the truth is I have already been given a tremendous amount of happiness that will last forever just so long as I have the people that are now in my life. So with that in mind it is time right now to give them a little bit more attention, and perhaps but the blog and channel and even the novel to the side for a while. Right now is a time for gratitude not for asking for more. Thank you very sincerely for reading my work and watching my videos these past six or so months and I hope to see everyone back early 2015
Happy Holidays
Paul Durante.

Dear Peter Jackson,

Dear Peter Jackson,
I must admit that I do like you. “Bad Taste,” is quite wonderful, and your accent is quite enjoyable as well. However, next time you want to spend 250 million dollars, do take into consideration that there is still you know…world hunger and shit….You know what, I dont think taht hes listening. Lets keep this between you and me.
Before we proceed I should mention that yes, I do understand that the guy who came up with “Butt Weed,” and “Yoda Kush,” has very little right to critisize Peter Jackson. Luckily, I’m an easily outraged American fool with a blog and the diluted perception that my opinion matters just because some wig wearing rebels said that it did a couple hundred years ago. So with that in mind, let us proceed accordingly. To clarify, the third installment of “The Hobbit,” is not a bad film. The issue is that it could have been a fifteen or twenty minute addition to the second film, and not a 2 1/2 hour 250 million dollar sequel. While the massive battle that accounts for two hours of the film is indeed enjoyable and bad ass, and all the other adjectives that we like to ascribe to battle scenes, it was in no way something that the lord of the rings franchise was lacking. The original trilogy had more than enough battles, and while it was nice to see them updated with the effects available now, it doesnt necisarily make it necessary.
So yes, the plot is somewhat diluted- the film simply did not demand 2 1/2 hours of our time, but that does not make it a complete failure. As I said, the battles really are enjoyable, and the actual sequences with Smog are also pretty cool. And also, there is nothing more enjoyable than watching an orc die. I dont know why that is. Perhaps they make them out of Hitler juice and Kim Kardashian droppings. Either way, ultimately the film is not ultimately a failure. Enter with pre managed expectations, and I doubt that you will be dissapointed.
Thanks for reading,
Paul Durante
Please follow me on twitter @DewmontPaul and follow my blog by entering your eamil on the right hand side of the screen.

Cyber Terrorism.

Um…what the fuck? We aren’t releasing a movie now because of cyber bullying? Listen, I understand full heartidly that the prospect of another domestic attack is terrifying, but I also understand that it is not going to happen over a Seth Rogen movie. For a country that maintains that it does’t negotiate with terrorists, this is a step in the wrong direction. Now lets pause. Before I get any self rightoes right wing internet trolls on my ass, yes, I know that the United States is not the one that is pulling “The Interview,” from theaters. Sony is responsible for this decision, and while I understand their position in wanting to protect the interests of their distributing theaters, I am disappointed to see that we are giving into the demands of a fucking dictator. Freedom of speech is perhaps the best thing about this country, and to say that Mr. Rogen cannot express himself in a COMEDY is a step in the wrong direction. All this bullshit has made me want to do is see the shit out of this movie.
Thanks for reading guys,
Paul Durante
Please follow me on twitter @DewmontPaul
Follow my blog by entering your email on the right side of the screen.

I’m Done!!!

this is going one becasue, well it can be. i’m done motherfuckers! school is over. no more papers, no more tests, no more nothing. im free as a motherfucking zebra. im an eel that hasnt been entrapped in a confining tank, roaming out and about in the open sea shocking starfish and taking names. and im all out of starfish. or names. whatever. i’m free!
time for netflix, friends, family, and reading. oh god. READING. i forgot that people could even do that. you know, because im a college student and all. for the last four months my life has been a hurricane of sparknotes and wikipedia. to read for fun, and to do it from a real live book (*livilyness of books may vary*) will be wonderful. i can even contemplate playing a video game. that would be nice. i never play video games. oh sure, i play pokemon from time to time, but that is more of a lifestyle choice than anything else, and its one that i carryout proudly. gosh. i cant wait to forget all of the bullshit that i just learned.
thanks for reading guys.
paul durante.
please follow my blog by entering in your email address on the right hand side of the screen, and follow me on twitter @DewmontPaul

the real “f-word”

i dont know why i still engage in them. @buttsniffer67 rarely has anything nice to say about ferguson, and while i have made strides with @bongwater27 he is still largely unaware of how damaging words like “faggot” and “retard,” are to the community at large. truthfully, i never expected that people would be outraged to find out that i dont like racism, or that i believe that white privilege is a profound problem in our country, or that i think that saying “faggot,” is just as ingnorant as using the N-word. and yet they always are, and they never have any particularly rational line of thinking to explain their feelings- simply bold accusations of why i am in fact a strong representation of the words that i so deplore. if ever there was a sure way to engage me in a fight it is to simply utter the word “faggot”. it is not out of fear of being aligned with the gay community (because i LOVE the gay community) that i protest so much to this form of name calling, but because i understand that it is a hate word. dont tell me that you aren’t prejudice- it doesnt matter. if youre using the same word as bigots, your a contributing factor to a massive scale problem. if you are summarizing an entire lifestyle in one word, and then using that word as an insult to throw at someone over twitter, than you contributing to a large scale problem. there is nothing that makes my blood boil more than seeing these hate words pop up on my timeline. anyway, thats my tirade. no solution, no glimmer of hope, just a short little tangent about why i am pissed off this morning.
thanks for reading
paul durante
please follow blog by putting in email address on right hand side of screen, and follow me on twitter @DewmontPaul


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school is my lex luthor. luther? its a pain in my ass. but then thats true of everyone. the issue at hand is not quite as simple as hating school, its where that leaves me. a year and a half ago i left home for a university life that i had never wanted for myself. it fell into my lap more than anything else, and while i love the life that it facilitates for me with my fiance- a woman who very much appreciates her education, it leaves me in a pickle. my hometown is…well home for me. its where my friends are, its where my family is- its where i can get a job, and its where i dont have to. its dewmont. its everything that my surrogate town is not and more, and yet i am far from it. over one hundred miles away; a sentiment that is true even when it isnt. two years ago, while i was still in the community college that would serve as the as the foundation for dewmont, i made a statement to my then girlfriend (now fiance) that college students were essentially homeless. those that live in the dorms i meant. for nine months they are in a little room that they essentially rent, and then they spend the other three at home. i reckoned that constant moving- the lack of a given stable environment would cause an identity rift- a lack of a sense of belonging in any given location. she told me that she thought i was wrong and i decided that she was probably right, given that she was the one at the university at the time. now it is me that is experiencing dorm life, and i am quite certain that i had had it right the first time. when i go home, i find that everything changes- and when i am here nothing does. in both cases i am molded by the environment at hand. it is not i that shape- but rather i am shaped by it. its a conundrum without resolution. an issue that i cannot solve- but that doesnt make it any less true. how about you let me know what you think? is college as bad as i say it is, or am i just making shit up so that i have something to write about?
comment below, follow by entering your email adress on the right hand side of the screen, and follow me on twitter @DewmontPaul
paul durante

Yik Yak and Eric Garner.

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I feel as though I only ever get on this thing when I am angry with global affairs anymore, but then that makes sense, given that I am always angry with global affairs. Actually I am not sure that it is fair to say global…more like national, and in this case, campus wide. Yes that’s right, my very own university is currently making the headlines that make me want to spontaneously combust with rage. If its all the same to you folks, I’d rather not say where I go-you know for the purpose of personal preservation and all, but rest assured it is a sess pool of frivolous exams, mediocre food, and apparently a fleet of ignorant assholes just barely smart enough to express their hateful little thoughts on social media. For those of you unfamiliar with the plague that is Yik Yak, it is essentially an anonymous version of twitter that allows for users to share their thoughts, coordinate parties by utilizing geographically focused posts, and making racist assholes of themselves for all of my lovely surragote town to see. I come from a town that is not astoundingly diverse, but growing up the attitudes and sentiments that I encountered were generally good spirited, even when they were somewhat culturally unaware, but what I have encountered here speaks loudly of one tragically undeniable truth:if such a thing as a post racial society exists, we are not living in it.
I feel safe in saying that everyone reading this is aware of the videotaped murder of Eric Garner that was carried about by police men on the streets of New York city. And if that is the case I am equally confident that you all know that his murderers have not been indicted. Now I can not speak of the heart of Daniel Panteleo (Garner’s murderer). I cannot say for certain if he is a racist, or simply a violent man but I can say that the Grand Jury’s inability to indict him is very much indicitive of a society that does not value black lives. It is because of this lack of respect for the African American population that students at my school chose to organize a peaceful protest under the simple yet poignant slogan- black lives matter. It’s a phrase that has been all over the news lately, as well it should be, and as I am sure most would see it, it is a phrase that is not in the least bit offensive. Right?
Wrong. That’s the way that my campus seems to feel anyway. Yik Yak lit up in light of the looming protests with messages only the most simplistic and hateful minds could have concocted.
Black lives dont matter.
Lincoln never should have freed you.
If I see a protesting black person today I’m going to shoot them.
This goes far beyond racial insensitivity. Its insanity. It is literally some of the most hateful language that I have ever encountered in my life before, and while it may fit in just fine at a klan meeting, it has no business residing on the social media page of what is supposed to be an educated campus. Truthfully, I can’t comment much more on it- there is very little else for me to say. But I would like to hear what you think. What’s the solution here? What does bull crap like this mean for our county, and what can we do to resolve it?
Thanks for reading folks,
Paul Durante
If you feel so inclined please leave a comment to let me know your thoughts. Also, If you have enjoyed my post, please follow me on twitter @DewmontPaul and Follow my blog by by inputting your email address on the right hand side of your screen.

final stretch.

oh goodness. with six days left at being at this very expensive hell whole, i can hardly contain my excitement. this week has been an epic of papers. to say that i had english classes now is an understatement, but regardless it is a fleeting one. school will end and break will begin and all will be good until..well until school starts again. but thats a different matter altogether. the point i make with this is not that misery is once again looming, but rather that everything is eventual. christ, i can very much remember the mindset that nothing could possibly exist outside of grade school, and while my interests have not changed very much since then, life has gone on just fine, and i entered into the next never ending phase of life: high school. again, needless to say but high school came and went and now im in college. what im learning is that life is very rarely going to be ideal, but what is coming next is not something that i want to coast through. i have grown so accostumed to wishing away time that to some degree it is all that i really know how to do. but as i said, what comes next can happen for as long as it wishes. as many people who read this blog know, i am getting married this summer. what comes next is life, and the last thing that i want is to realize that i wished it all away.
thanks for reading
paul durante
please follow me on twitter @DewmontPaul and follow my blog by entering your email address on the right hand side of the screen.

Thanksgiving Kush must be poison.

goodness me gee wilikers. im certainly not tarintino but motherfuck has my last video not done well. in the past my work is usually met with a moderate amount of likes that at the very least double however many dislikes they happened to get. the results are rarely impressive, and certainly never brag worthy, but so far at the very least they have been enough for me to feel decent about. not this one tho. dislikes, and negative twitter comments galore. you know what? before we go any further, how about you take a look for yourself?

that’s it. thanksgiving kush, the latest installment in my not so epic saga of stoner otto, and his reluctant stirfry. the duo are in fact simple side characters in what will be twelve part web series entitled “the dewmont daze,” coming sometime next year, but when it comes to short videos im quick to include them in the mix- mostly because i play the one in the dopey leather jacket. i know that they are no cheech and chong, harold and kumar, jay and silent bob, and they certainly are no biden or motherfucking barack obama, but regardless theyre not entirely horrible are they? well are they? im not here to defend the video folks, im here for some feedback. let me know what you think. is it the worst thing you’ve seen since hannah montana sang naked with beadle juice? the best thing you’ve seen since the birth of your child? somewhere in between?
lets here what you think.
thanks for your input guys-
paul durante
please follow me on twitter @DewmontPaul and follow blog by inputting your email address on the right hand side of the screen.

a generation thats brain washed.

to be fair the same could be said of most any era. what? do you really not know what im reffering to? read the fucking title and get back to me. anyway yes. brainwashed. there seems to be this regrettable notion amongst people of my age that we are in some way more enlightened than say the people from our parents generation. today i saw someone tweet “youre just jealous because we’re young and evolved.” listen motherfucker, i can recognize that that tweet was in no way directed towards me, but lets take a step back and reevaluate a few things first shall we? first of all, you cant even contemplate referring to yourself as “evolved,” if you were planning on doing so in the same twenty four hour span of time that you have taken a selfie. it simply isnt possible. that right away eliminates sixty percent of the so called evolved folk that might have taken delight in reading this oh so refined tweet. secondly, we come from an era with six dollar coffee, snapchat, and pants that are essentially black nylon body paint. we arent exactly starting a revolution, and while miley cyrus music may be catchy the fact that she stands amongst our pop icons of the era isnt doing us any favors either. i will not go as far as to say that we are fucked, as such a thing is far too bleak than i care to delve into, and anyway, i do believe it is a tad over stated to begin with. there are brilliant minds walking among us, and yes some of them are bumping a wrecking ball on their iphones they just selfied on, wearing yoga pants, and toting a seven dollar cup of coffee. i’m not writing to condemn my era- god knows theyre the only ones that watch my videos anyway. im writing to humble them. the truth is the vast majority of the world that we know is about one decade away from being substantially older than they would care to be, and while age should not be a point of shame, it some how has become exactly that. most likely because of the noisy young “evolved,” twitter tweeter that doesnt realize that in a few years they are going to be creating children that will end up making the exact same statement to them. what i think often gets lost in the commotion of every day life is that we very much life in a multigenerational society. in a world were people are working into their later years, a much larger segment of the population is not playing a role in the general mechanics of our society. we are living in a massive melting pot after all. unless youre a pokemon, there is no such thing as young and evolved. rather we are all products of multigenerational society that might want to consider getting along. it will be a hell of a long ride if we dont.
thanks for reading,
paul durante
please follow me on twitter @DewmontPaul and follow my blog by entering your email on the right hand side of the screen where it asks you to do so.