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Why I am right and you are wrong about college.

I hate college, not purely in the sense that I do not like being told ridiculous nonsense that in no way actually benefits my life (though I do truly and utterly hate that).  No, I hate the notion of culturally mandated higher education for what my pretentious self assured mind considers to be more enlightened reasons.  You might feel differently.  Here’s why you’re wrong.

  1.  The Cost-inordinate to what you receive.  This summer I paid a literal 1000$ to take an online film class.  I never met my teacher, I never spoke to her, emailed her, or even aw her face, nor could I tell you who else was in my class. What we did? Watched movies.  I paid a thousand dollars for a PHD to decide my Netflix que.  It’s nonsense.                                   -And what do they do with that money?  New buildings, better football players, perhaps a statue of a former school President that none of the students currently enrolled at the University were even aware of.  Nonsense bullshit that is putting you tens of thousands of dollars in debt.                                                                                                                    “But Paul, most of those things are bought by grants, and donations, you ignorant slut.”  Well first of all my good man, slut is a cancerous word that our society uses to slap women in their faces, and it is one that should not be uttered on my blog.  Second, I know that you ignorant ass munch (not to offend the ass munchers out there).  But these things are bought because that is the way in which the world of the university has defined itself.  Grand buildings, tremendous stadiums, and expensive sports teams with which to fill them.  Silliness.  I spent three semesters at a community college- same resources as my current university, but a literal fourth of the cost.
  2. “College prepares you for the real world”.  Haha oh does it?  That real world where you party five nights out of the week, work sporadic day time hours, and pay some one hefty fees to boss you around?  College is nothing like the real world.  it’s not even similar.  Yes, it provides you a chance to move out of your parents house, but guess what?  For 450 a month you can do that anyway.
  3. “College makes you a smarter, more well informed member of society.”  Oh does it?  I wish someone had told me that four years ago, I might have found the time to smile about it. That’s horse shit, and you know it. College, as in everything else, can only inform you as much as you decide you want it to.  You want to be informed?  Read a newspaper, they’re seventy five cents.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       So what am i proposing?  Nothing.  This system isn’t going anywhere, and it never will.  It’s too ingrained in our society for it to go anywhere.  All i can suggest is that we stop pretending that it is some temple of enlightenment, and call it what it is- an institution used to designate the haves and have nots.  Those with degrees- now deemed worthy of a decent job, and those without, who can’t hope to.  It’s bullshit, but it’s our bullshit, so own up to it.

Thanks for reading.

Paul Durante

Follow me on Twitter @DewmontPaul

Bullshit named Finals

Dear Everyone,

Finals are silly.  Its a well known fact that people don’t remember things that they learn in school, they are too busy contemplating the fame of the Kardashians, and missing Breaking Bad.  Homework is for the Amish, who don’t have Facebook, twitter, or excitement to keep them busy.  Don’t worry, chances are they wont see this.  Finals can only be attributed to one of two things.  The first is that the Professors are simply ignorant.  They do not understand that we don’t know about, or care about anything that they have said over the past few months.  It is a fair enough mistake on their part, given that they are the only people in the world that enjoy fractions. I am afraid that the second possibility is a somewhat more sinister one. Professors know that you don’t care. They aren’t stupid, not most of them anyway. They know you don’t care, and they are trying to punish you. It is time to take back the end of the school year. It is time to say “no, I don’t want to take your exam Mr./Mrs. Asshole. Fight the power!
Yeedin Yip Yip and Shit,
Love
Otto

Shooting Shit For America

Right to Bear Arms

A humanist Perspective

By Kathy Mcdermant

                I don’t like to think of myself as particularly political, at least not as far as picking sides goes.  I’m on humanities side, and when an issue arises, I like to think that it shouldn’t matter if it is being dealt with by donkey or by an elephant (although if it was handled by an platypus, the might have me) I think that the issues should speak for themselves.

                We live in a supposed democracy, and as such I believe that not just the voice of the people, by the good of the people should be considered in every doctrine, bill, law, and rule that is put before us.  So with that in mind I go into this weeks topic, the right to bear arms.

                The right to bear arms is indeed a controversial issue, and one that has many all sorts of hot and bothered.  But I am not hear to talk about the bill of rights, the constitution, or last weeks episode of “Law and Order”, although that last thing is neither here nor there.  What I am here to talk about is what is best for us as a people. 

                There are people out there who sincerely believe that the best way to end school shootings is to put more guns into schools.  They say that arming teachers is the best thing that they can do to protect students from shooters…..I know right?  Look, I’m not trying to tell you what is or is not lawful as far as our fore fathers were concerned, because I don’t have a clue, but I do know that In a world where gun violence is running rampant the answer is not more gun violence.

                There is also debate on what sort of weapons should and should not be legal.  A lot of people want the right to own assult rifles and other deadly weapons.  I get it.  Most of you aren’t dangerous.  Most of you wont shoot up a school, or do any harm to anything other than a dear that didn’t know that they were fair “sport”.  In a perfect world you guys would be able to have the weapons of your chosing without any sort of debate on whether or not it was a good idea.  We do not live in a perfect world.

                Please do not misunderstand.  I am not trying to condemn you, or blame you, or argue with you.  I am pleading with you.  Give up your toys so that dangerous people do not have asccess to dangerous things.  Keeping our citizens safe is the true American way.