Married as fuck. Sounds nice doesn’t it? While the day itself was a bit of a blur, I do believe that it is the very last phrase that the priest uttered before saying “you may now kiss the bride”. You’re married as fuck, so just go ahead and kiss her. Eh maybe he didn’y say it. I knew though, and I couldn’t be happier about it.
Lets rewind. My name is Paul Durante, and for the last three years my every waking thought has been completely and utterly captivated by one Rachel Riesenberger (I’ve learned to look past the whole German thing and I hope that you can too). I wish there was a fun like or as that I could whip out to adequately describe our relationship (you know, like some Bonnie to my Clyde bullshit?) but the truth is she’s more like the teacher to my inner deliquint. My girl was our class valedictorian, a feat that she is not too keen on mentioning, and while i am no intellectual shlub, you are nevertheless reading the words of our high school classes 121st ranked student (and I do believe that there was only 98 kids in our class). In many ways we are opposites. She is the sweet to my bitter, the organization to my clutter, even the Christian to my secular humanist. With all that in mind, I have been married as fuck for three years, even before the church and the state decided to recognize it the way that we did. And that simple fact has been my utter joy for the past three years.
Married as fuck. That’s the funny thing about love, about human connection- that’s where the joy in life is. I’m only twenty one, but if there is one thing I know without doubt, or without question, it is that the difference between joy and pleasure is as distinct as it is crucial to understand. Food can be pleasure- a fleeting moment happiness caused by what is usually fat and sugar, but a meal, shared with friends and loved ones- that can be joy. That right there can be a memory. the same thing is true of marriage, or any relationship of substance really. If there is one thing I know, it is that the most foolproof path to happiness lies in understanding what matters in life, and what doesn’t. Because there are somethings that no one can take from you.
It is in this regard that I myself have struggled, even if only slightly. I have the world- everything that I could ever hope for, and yet there is a small part of me that tries to define my happiness or success by how I am received as a writer or a director, or whatever the hell other goofy thing I am working on at the moment. Since I was six I have dreamed of being a professional writer, and it has been about since then that I have also pursued it. I have written stories, and novels, created web series, I am in pre production on an independent film, and I even started a goofy blog in the hopes that it would get people to pay attention to me. I WANT to be succesful, but what I always come back to is the simple fact that I have already been given far more than i need. Everyone is always looking for that greener side of the pasture, but what I continuously realize is that there is nothing better than what I have now. I’m twenty years old, and I have peeked. Exactly what everyone dreams of yes? My life is perfect, Everything else that I get after this point is bonus.
Thanks for reading-
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