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Dear Peter Jackson,

Dear Peter Jackson,
I must admit that I do like you. “Bad Taste,” is quite wonderful, and your accent is quite enjoyable as well. However, next time you want to spend 250 million dollars, do take into consideration that there is still you know…world hunger and shit….You know what, I dont think taht hes listening. Lets keep this between you and me.
Before we proceed I should mention that yes, I do understand that the guy who came up with “Butt Weed,” and “Yoda Kush,” has very little right to critisize Peter Jackson. Luckily, I’m an easily outraged American fool with a blog and the diluted perception that my opinion matters just because some wig wearing rebels said that it did a couple hundred years ago. So with that in mind, let us proceed accordingly. To clarify, the third installment of “The Hobbit,” is not a bad film. The issue is that it could have been a fifteen or twenty minute addition to the second film, and not a 2 1/2 hour 250 million dollar sequel. While the massive battle that accounts for two hours of the film is indeed enjoyable and bad ass, and all the other adjectives that we like to ascribe to battle scenes, it was in no way something that the lord of the rings franchise was lacking. The original trilogy had more than enough battles, and while it was nice to see them updated with the effects available now, it doesnt necisarily make it necessary.
So yes, the plot is somewhat diluted- the film simply did not demand 2 1/2 hours of our time, but that does not make it a complete failure. As I said, the battles really are enjoyable, and the actual sequences with Smog are also pretty cool. And also, there is nothing more enjoyable than watching an orc die. I dont know why that is. Perhaps they make them out of Hitler juice and Kim Kardashian droppings. Either way, ultimately the film is not ultimately a failure. Enter with pre managed expectations, and I doubt that you will be dissapointed.
Thanks for reading,
Paul Durante
Please follow me on twitter @DewmontPaul and follow my blog by entering your eamil on the right hand side of the screen.

A post about friday.

today is friday. if you are reading this, chances are you already knew. and if you are reading this in the future, it probably isn’t friday, but that is little concern of yours. you have mastered time travel, and done everything else of interest to the point where reading my humble little blog seemed like a viable use of your time. i thank you for your radership. and your readership. and the ship that you travel through time with, like doctor who. dwa dwa dwa dwa. that was me onamontapeeaing the fuck out of the doctor who theme song. if you read those words and thought immediately of the show, you are either a true fan, or demonstrating the first signs of schizophrenia. either way, i am glad to have you as a reader. as you may be able to tell, this is not a sort of essay like some of my other posts have been this week. i am not here to profess the dangers of education, or to call my teachers names. no, this angry teenager (who as of yesterday is now twenty one) is happy. he is happy, because today is friday, which means that monday tuesday, wednsday and thursday can go fuck themselves. even sunday is on thin ice. if you havent figured it out by now, i am not much of one for school. i hate it in the same way a rational person might hate hitler. i hate it with the same fervor that americans mis understand things that arent…american. i hate it with more passion that bugs bunny had for tricking donald, with more anger than wallace and gromit had love for cheese, with more more passion than frodo had for sam, because we all know that there was something a little extra going on there. yes, if you know me, you know that i am not meant to be a student. im a journeymen. not particularly good at anything, but willing to try most things that dont involve phd’s and motherfucking fractions. the weekend is a liberating time all of us. aside from being what is perhaps one of the greatest reduncies i have ever passed through the keys of my laptop, it is as true a statement as i can muster. we all need the weekend. without them we might die. well i might. you could be one of those freaks that likes school for all i know. you could be one of those kids that likes their teachers, and raises their hands in class, and knows what the fuck a pathagoreum is and if you are….i appreciate your readership. the point of my posts is not to isolate, but to self express in a most volitilely arrogant ways possible. because the truth is, none of you know me. you might know that i am the goofy motherfucker on youtube that will on occasion slip on and old leather jacket, call himself stirfry and pretend to act, but outside of that, there is no reason for you to have any interest in any of my nonesensical ramblings. so with that in mind, i thank you for your readership.
Now, before i fuck off and enjoy the weekend that i have been at least kind of rambling about, lets talk some shit. first of all, i am happy to be able to report that as of right now i have made good on my resolution to blog a little bit more. next week i will make strides in blogging a little bit better, and before you know it, we will have something decent on our hands. asisde from that, i would also like to mention that in the near future i will be releasing my last video on the present cycle of otto and stirfry videos. dont worry, i m sure there will be a shit ton more than anyone ever wanted there to be very soon. for now, you can see the second to last one here for best results, like subscribe, and send me your money. in that same vein of thought, i would also like to post on the internet, for the sake of making myself accountable that i would like to begin an at least semi regular video vlog type thing on the youtube channel to suplement the actual scripted videos. so yeah, thats about all my news. enjoy your weekend
paul durante
follow me on twitter @DewmontPaul