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jesus christ, click the link and read this already

thats certainly how it feels sometimes anyway. the title i mean, not whatever weird little thought you had in your head before you clicked on such an agressive and overly instructional link. i truly dont mean to complain. in the time that i have spent writing online and attempting to establish a youtube channel with a decent amount of traffic, i have at least at times been received rather well. it is not very much my place to wonder why more people dont give me their attention, given that i have to compete with netflix, and near constant kimye updates, but it certainly leaves a mind curious all the same. how does one find success online? im afraid that im not being facetious, i truly havent a clue how its done. did pewdiepie wake up one morning with a million subscribers? did…(insert famous blog here) have a hundred thousand followers fall out of the sky and onto their website on a particularly rainy day? did one of those dopey relationship accounts somehow brainwash 8 million lonely puberty driven teenagers to retweet their shit? all but the last suggestion are highly unlikely, and yet i just cant seem to wrap my head around it. i certainly would not be so bold as to say that i am one of the stronger voices on the internet, but i dont think that i am nothing either, and furthermore, even if i were nothing no one would no because like i said, no one watches the damn things to begin with. in six months my youtube account has taken in ten thousand hits. its not a number to be ashamed of all things considered, although if i am being honest with myself, i would have to acknowledge that six thousand of them were probably my mother, and another thirty five hundred almost definitely came from serial accidental playback brought on by the fact that i have a very difficult time figuring out how to post links to twitter. and as for this blog- while i have enjoyed using it quite thouroughly up until this point, in the near year that i have had it active, it has collected only three thousand hits. and again my mother was probably six thousand of them. you can check the math on that yourself. im far to busy lamenting over my own personal failures thank you very much. as for twitter, while i certainly dont gauge the little nuisance as a a meeter for personal success it has to be at least somewhat a reflection of how people feel about me, and while i have collected six hundred some odd followers, it is only because i ask literally everyone that i meet to follow me. the truth is i am desperate for attention in a market saturated with others just like me who are at the very least rational enough not to name their characters shit like “stirfry”. theres no proposal in this post kids. im not trying to establish some sort of faustian bargain in which i trade my soul for a bushel of bannanas and a few k youtube views. this is at best venting, and at worst case wining. lifes hard, and social media is tedious. thanks for reading
paul durante
follow me on twitter @DewmontPaul
and heres the link to my latest video if you care to share