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No More “Slut” Bashing

Dear Stirfry,

                My ex girl friend is a slut.  Since we broke up two weeks ago, she has been with three different guys, and I heard a rumor that when we were still dating she made out with my best friend.  Now it is time for me to get her back.  I’m thinking of sleeping with her sister, what do you think?

Sincerely,

Hot and Bothered

                Dear Misguided,

                What I think is that you sent this to the wrong advice columnist.  But since you are here, let’s take a look at the problem shall we? The problem is not that your girlfriend has “been with” three guys since you broke up, the problem is not even that she kissed your friend (although that is admittedly regrettable) the problem is that you are treating relationships like a game of chess, and victimizing your ex with cruel double standards.  To begin with, she is not a “slut”.  Her body is no one but hers, and she may use it however she chooses without becoming a “slut”.  Would you not have already been with three girls by this point if anyone had dared kiss your misogynistic lips? There is a cruel double standard in our country that you have made someone that you claim to have at least at one point cared about, a victim of.  Men can pursue as sex as much as they please without judgment while women cannot.  But let’s move past that.  Under no circumstance is it right for you to sleep with her sister.  Hurting someone else to get back at someone who no longer wants anything to do with you is cruel and absurd.  What you need to do is move on, Bothered.  Well that’s it, that’s my schpeal.  Don’t you wish you had written to Otto?

Sincerely Yours,

Stirfry

I love you the way you are

I Love you, Yes you

A humanist perspective

 By Kathy Mcdermant

                The word love gets thrown around a lot these days, perhaps even too callously, but I mean it, I love you.  I love the you that you are afraid to show the world, because that is the you that you are meant to be, and I love more than anything to see you overcome that fear…..As you can tell, I’m a little emotional.

In one of my journalism classes the other day we were discusses the effects of mass advertisements on our society and man….that stuff is a heartbreaking.  So heartbreaking in fact that it makes an aspiring journalist say “stuff”.

The truth of the matter is, we live in a culture where it is practically impossible for a person to be themselves.  You can’t eat food if you want to be attractive, you can’t live if you don’t eat food, you cant save yourself for marriage if you plan on being cool, and you cant have sex if you don’t want to be judged.  Do you see the impossibilities? I mean think about it, damn near everyone in the world likes cookies and there are still weddings each and every day.

Commercials show us that everyone is thin, everyone is happy, everyone wears short shorts and goes rock climbing on their periods.  Its enough to make any normal person question what they are doing wrong.  But here’s the thing, I’m starting to believe that it isn’t us normal people that are doing the wrong thing, it’s the media (shocker right?).  I think that they are lying to us, and it’s making me wonder who else is lying to us (MAYBE CLINTON DID INHALE!!!).

People in real life don’t look the way that they do on these ridiculous commercials and TV shows.  Even Kate Upton doesn’t look like Kate Upton.  So what change needs to be made? Should we defy our own biology and become slaves to the media, or should we be ourselves, and let the salesmen learn to adapt to that?  I know that it isn’t easy to defy the norm, but you have to do it.  You have to decide that the you that you want to be is the you that the world deserves to see.  I love you the exact way that you are inside, and the people that you need in your life will too.