Blog Archives

Why I am right and you are wrong about college.

I hate college, not purely in the sense that I do not like being told ridiculous nonsense that in no way actually benefits my life (though I do truly and utterly hate that).  No, I hate the notion of culturally mandated higher education for what my pretentious self assured mind considers to be more enlightened reasons.  You might feel differently.  Here’s why you’re wrong.

  1.  The Cost-inordinate to what you receive.  This summer I paid a literal 1000$ to take an online film class.  I never met my teacher, I never spoke to her, emailed her, or even aw her face, nor could I tell you who else was in my class. What we did? Watched movies.  I paid a thousand dollars for a PHD to decide my Netflix que.  It’s nonsense.                                   -And what do they do with that money?  New buildings, better football players, perhaps a statue of a former school President that none of the students currently enrolled at the University were even aware of.  Nonsense bullshit that is putting you tens of thousands of dollars in debt.                                                                                                                    “But Paul, most of those things are bought by grants, and donations, you ignorant slut.”  Well first of all my good man, slut is a cancerous word that our society uses to slap women in their faces, and it is one that should not be uttered on my blog.  Second, I know that you ignorant ass munch (not to offend the ass munchers out there).  But these things are bought because that is the way in which the world of the university has defined itself.  Grand buildings, tremendous stadiums, and expensive sports teams with which to fill them.  Silliness.  I spent three semesters at a community college- same resources as my current university, but a literal fourth of the cost.
  2. “College prepares you for the real world”.  Haha oh does it?  That real world where you party five nights out of the week, work sporadic day time hours, and pay some one hefty fees to boss you around?  College is nothing like the real world.  it’s not even similar.  Yes, it provides you a chance to move out of your parents house, but guess what?  For 450 a month you can do that anyway.
  3. “College makes you a smarter, more well informed member of society.”  Oh does it?  I wish someone had told me that four years ago, I might have found the time to smile about it. That’s horse shit, and you know it. College, as in everything else, can only inform you as much as you decide you want it to.  You want to be informed?  Read a newspaper, they’re seventy five cents.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       So what am i proposing?  Nothing.  This system isn’t going anywhere, and it never will.  It’s too ingrained in our society for it to go anywhere.  All i can suggest is that we stop pretending that it is some temple of enlightenment, and call it what it is- an institution used to designate the haves and have nots.  Those with degrees- now deemed worthy of a decent job, and those without, who can’t hope to.  It’s bullshit, but it’s our bullshit, so own up to it.

Thanks for reading.

Paul Durante

Follow me on Twitter @DewmontPaul

College: The price of your degree that you can never get back

Isn’t it ironic he way in which college forces you to spend inordinate amounts of money (in relation to the services that it provides) that put you tremendously in debt, just so that one day you might get a job that pays a decent wage?  Emphasis on the word “might” by the way.  Because there are no definite’s.  Hard work won’t under all circumstances yield your dream life, and conversely, supreme stupidity will not always leave you homeless (see every single reality tv star ever).  There are no guarantees in life, even though it feels like maybe there should be, and while this is regrettable, it is not something that will be changed by activism, as it is really only as prevelent these days as the cause is trendy.

In that regard the less academically inclined among us are still out of luck.  It seems that so few people have found fault with this system that requires us to put ourselves deeply into debt just for the chance at a job that provides a live able wage.  People get so caught up with this “need” for a higher education, that they don’t ever stop to think that their could possibly be an alternative. Perhaps they are right not to dwell on it.  Perhaps this “Hunger Games,” esque, survival of the fittest arena of education and job hunting has become so institutionalized that the probability of other options gaining traction are so slim that the efforts to create such a thing would be better directed elsewhere.  Either way, it’s something to think about isn’t it.  I’ve always figured that your degree costs a good deal more than the sticker price.  Besides four years of your life, it costs your dreams.  That is not to say that everyone can, or should dedicate their lives to the pursuit of a rock and roll career that they will never have, but rather it just seems worth mentioning that once they take that plunge, get that degree, and enter into white corporate America, I do believe that they pay not just the hundred thousand dollars or so of tuition, but also that creative fire in their belly that they had had up until their eighteenth birthday.  And that passion you can never get back.

Food for thought.

Paul Durante

Follow me on Twitter @DewmontPaul

Fish Eyes And Jean Jackets: Tales from a married Student

For those of you that have not been reading along (I’m talking to you, World Wide Web)  my name is Paul Durante, and for the past, ohhh twenty or so years I was just a shell of what I could be.  In that time, I have met people that I care about, gone places that expanded my horizon’s past the corn filled soils of Illinois, and even written things that i am somewhat proud of, but it took me up until this summer to find what I can finally call, success.  And how might a mediocre small scale internet personality quantify success? Well since no one reads or watches my things, this online pest has had to go the deeper, more personal route.  Marrying my wife, was the best decision that I have ever made, opening my life up to something that it had previously never been familiar with: daily joy. Even before, when we were only dating, or even engaged, the happiness was still tremendous, spiritual, and perfect beyond what I had ever before known, but now as I pound away at these keys with a wedding band on my left hand, something has changed.  There is a new sense of simplistic profundity to this familiar and yet new sense of happiness, and I am afraid that it is a profundity that I cannot explain in this blog, most especially because nobody pays me for this shit.

But amongst this wonderful and exciting new chapter of my life is an ever so feint veil of surprise and speculation from my peers.  Oh yes, I am still a student.

“What do you think? Unplanned pregnancy?”

“Blind recklessness?”

“You don’t thing….surely he isn’t a Christian?”

Okay, okay, so no one is literally circling up and whispering gossip in my face.  In fact, the vast majority of friends and family have been very supportive of our decision, but in the background there has always been this since of judgemental speculation.

So lets clear things up.

  1.  Nope, no pregnancy, planned or otherwise, although I do believe I would look glowing with a baby bump.
  2. Excuse you sirs and maams, but we have been together for three years.  There is nothing blind or reckless about it.  There isn’t a reckless bone in my body.Your reading the words of a man too cowardly to even attempt to parralell park.
  3. Haha no.  I’m not a Christian, nor am I in any capacity religious.  But do try not to say it with such stank in your voice next time.

Here’s the deal.  When you know, you just know.  Are we young? Perhaps slightly.  But we are also financially able to pay for our own food, transportation, and living quarters (which we would have had to do regardless of whether or not we had gotten married) and in roughly nine months, we will also be degree holding members of society (despite my utter disdain for all thinks scholastic).

We are happy, which as far as I am concerned means that we are doing something right, because really, how often is there something to smile about?

wedding kiss

Thanks for reading,

Paul Durante

If you have any questions or comments, leave them!  I love hearing from you guys

Please follow me on twitter @DewmontPaul

First day of Bullshit. (You Know, School)

This is why I never could have been a teacher…..for those of you that don’t know, I almost was one.  See teachers don’t write blog posts about the bullshit nature of school, and they sure as shit don’t direct videos called “butt weed”.  Crass as my creative endevors over the past few years may have been, they nevertheless point very distinclty to the fact that nurturing young minds is a field best left to folks that aren’t me.  As Marky Mark says in The Departed, (without the help of his Funky Bunch I might add)  “You can be any fucking thing that you want in the next twelve months, but you will not be a Massachusates state policeman.”  Only that’s misquoted, misspelled, and not about teaching.  Whatever, you get the point.

Marky Mark blog post

I am no student, so by definition, I am the last person that should be in charge of them.  After freshly having resigned to being simply an English Major, with no added burden of teacher certification, this is my first day back to class in what will be (God Willing) my last year as a college student.  Do you suppose that the teachers hate today as much as I do?  I maintain that college professors do what they do so that they can read books for a living, and in some cases, flirt with coeds that most likely wouldn’t have talked to them when they were nerdy little undergrads.  Granted, some of them are passionate about what they do, but for the most part I have found that they are simply interested in getting paid to have pretentious conversations about things that don’t really matter anyway.   Don’t kid yourselves, in college your paying for a sheet of paper- not a bunch of shit that you can learn for free on Wikipedia.  Don’t agree with my cynical outlook?  Good.  Debate it.

Thanks for reading,

Paul Durante

Questions or comments? Write to me down below in the comments section and I will respond.

Follow me on Twitter @DewmontPaul


*if you enjoy please follow blog by entering email on right hand side of screen and follow me on twitter @DewmontPaul*
school is my lex luthor. luther? its a pain in my ass. but then thats true of everyone. the issue at hand is not quite as simple as hating school, its where that leaves me. a year and a half ago i left home for a university life that i had never wanted for myself. it fell into my lap more than anything else, and while i love the life that it facilitates for me with my fiance- a woman who very much appreciates her education, it leaves me in a pickle. my hometown is…well home for me. its where my friends are, its where my family is- its where i can get a job, and its where i dont have to. its dewmont. its everything that my surrogate town is not and more, and yet i am far from it. over one hundred miles away; a sentiment that is true even when it isnt. two years ago, while i was still in the community college that would serve as the as the foundation for dewmont, i made a statement to my then girlfriend (now fiance) that college students were essentially homeless. those that live in the dorms i meant. for nine months they are in a little room that they essentially rent, and then they spend the other three at home. i reckoned that constant moving- the lack of a given stable environment would cause an identity rift- a lack of a sense of belonging in any given location. she told me that she thought i was wrong and i decided that she was probably right, given that she was the one at the university at the time. now it is me that is experiencing dorm life, and i am quite certain that i had had it right the first time. when i go home, i find that everything changes- and when i am here nothing does. in both cases i am molded by the environment at hand. it is not i that shape- but rather i am shaped by it. its a conundrum without resolution. an issue that i cannot solve- but that doesnt make it any less true. how about you let me know what you think? is college as bad as i say it is, or am i just making shit up so that i have something to write about?
comment below, follow by entering your email adress on the right hand side of the screen, and follow me on twitter @DewmontPaul
paul durante

holy shit i dont have time for this

the title is an understatement. i have four research papers due friday, and four tests in between now and and next tuesday. my life is a blur between what is important (pokemon and my loving fiance) to what is not important (school) and in fits of exhaustion this blur has become something far more sinister A BLEND. “the implications of victor frankensteins quest to conquer death carry over well to a modern context because ash ketchem is eternally ten years old, and rachels favorite color is purple.” im not even writing any more. my brain is throwing up ideas onto the page in the hope that some of it might might come up as undigested corn, or in other words, salvageable. im not looking for that brown muckusy crap kids, i want the gold, but it just isnt happening for me. im burnt out every which way that can be..well burned and that says a lot for a kid that never really gave a shit to begin with. ive always maintained that i am a high school dropout in the body of a junior in college. proceduraly speaking, there arent many corrective options for a person such as myself, although i suppose that technically for a more adventerous sort of folk my situation could easily be rectifying just by you know..not going to class or paying my bills anymore. while the prospect is tempting the fallout is not. as a man (and yes i said man intentionally, though the word came through my fingers and onto my keyboard with a twinge of hesitancy) with a tremendous amount of new and upcoming responsibilities, dropping out is no longer the option that it once was. ive put in far too much time and money into this cluster fuck of tediousness and monotony to let it all go to waste now, and while the experience has not been entirely lost on me, it has for the most part proven time and time again not to be my cup of tea. while internally im fully prepared to switch over to coffee, the results would be disastrous. my fiance is an eduaction major like myself. while i believe that the educational system as a whole is entirely fucked, and that i might be able to in some way make a difference in that regard, i still do not want to go down that path. i am a writer. its the only thing that i am good at, and i am sure that there are plenty of you out there reading this right now that would maintain that i am not even particularly great at this either. regardless, the two of us might struggle on teachers salaries. a low traffic blogger certainly isnt going to be bringing home the rent checks. so for now, yes, i am stuck throwing up ideas onto microsoft word in the hopes that they are passable and properly cited in mla format.
thanks for reading,
paul durante
please follow me on twitter @DewmontPaul and follow this blog by typing in your email in the bar that requests it of you on the right hand side of your screen.

It’s not quite ready yet?

its not quite ready yet? what in the motherfucking world do you mean its not quite ready yet? ….oh. im sorry i got a little bit ahead of myself. that tends to happen when i am slowly working my way up to a rage stroke. you see my phd-diseased pretentious wad of tissue poor excuse for a human being professor accidently told me that he hasnt read my proposal. no not for marriage- two weeks ago we had to turn in our proposals for our end of the semester research papers, and as the semester ends in one week, i just wanted to double check. everything was alright with my proposal yes? oh, i havent quite gotten to it yet. thats the answer this snot wad gave me. i genuinely wanted to projectile vomit, not because the statement made me sick to my stomach but because if ever there was a time that someone deserved to be vomited on, it was right then and there. in my four lit classes this semester i have been assigned three novels a week every week for the past SIXTEEN MOTHERFUCKING WEEKS. of those novels a substantial amount of them had come from him, and while i cannot blame him for assaigning homework, i can blame him for not grading it. this is the problem with college professors folks. i maintain that the majority of them rarely care much aboutt he craft of teaching. yes they may enjoy intellectual conversations about great works of literature with young people, and they certainly enjoy assessing peoples understanding of THEIR assesments of said literature, but when it comes down to it. when we break the issue up into its purest form, what we get is sheer idiocy– a system in which we find grown men and women reenacting their own academic glory days of college in the hopes that they might never have to abandon the experience of being a student. in this particular instance this lack of responisbility and respect is affecting me greatly, and yes, frankly it does make me want to vomit.
thanks for reading,
paul durante
please follow my twitter account @DewmontPaul

two weeks left.

i have forteen more days of school but zero fucks to give. im no good at math, and in fact that is one of the reasons for my zero fuck giving, but regardless i am quite certain that i might be metaphorically fucked by my projected output of work for the coming days. those of you familiar with university life understand that this is not good. in fact if ever there was a pair of weeks for me to work hard throughout, it would be these two. finals are looming, and while i am certainly getting reacquainted with their pressures and demands, my fucks to give ratio is nonetheless….fucked. heres the thing; none of this shit matters. i was tired of it early august, before any of it even started because like i said…it doesnt matter. science might end up curing cancer, but i certainly wont. math might be handy if dont have a calculator near by, and grammar was replaced by spell check..well whenever spell check came out. thats it. thats my post to day kids; an angry little exscursion away from the dreadful paper im writing.
thanks for reading.
paul durante
follow me on twitter @DewmontPaul

leases, lives, and other things that i don’t want to ruin.

yesterday i signed my first lease. i read the agreement and everything. fifteen pages to tell me that i pay them, and they let me live there. i dont, and they kick me out. in addition to that, as of course those of you that consistently read my blog know, i am engaged. that’s alot to handle for a person who is notoriously bad at handling….well most things. to say that is a pressure situation is an understatement, and yet as i enter into, it isn’t as daunting as even say, the ten page paper i’m supposed to be writing right now on gawain and the green knight (particularly because i havent read gawain and the green knight). if there is one thing that i have learned in life, it is that almost everything that we are exposed to, every idea, concept or notion that we are lead to believe are socially defined ideals. for example, i am often told i am too young to consider marriage, but why is that? I will be twenty one when i get married, and twenty two when i become certified as a teacher. roughly the same level of maturity by any realistic estimation, and i am simultaneously equipped to serve as a guide to todays youth, but unequipped to take the next step in a relationship i have been building for over two and a half years. see that’s the thing. there isnt a good argument in the world that i have been presented with that makes sense. i dont have enough money? fuck that. i’m never going to have enough money if i become a teacher, and anyway, is there a membership fee attached to being married? i dont think so. in fact, by moving into an appartment together next year we are saving thousands. it will distract from school…hahaha. that one makes me laugh. nothing in the world can distract me from school more than the MOTHERFUCKING HATRED that i have for it. before i met my fiance i was mr 1.7 gpa, and while i still have the heart and soul of a college dropout, i have the gpa of a relatively good student. so no. marriage wont break my studies either, although sir gawain might. see this is my point, my life is going to be defined, because everything is, so that being the case i am going to make damn sure that i am webster. i can think of no better way to start doing that than by marrying the girl i’ve been with and grown with for the last two and a half years. she’s going to get pissed off if she finds out that i got all personal and feelingsy and shit about our relationship online, but i really do love her more than anything else in life, and i can think of no better way to enter into the adult world than by already being married to her. so with that in mind, while i still do get the occasional worrisome inkilings of the 1.7 angry teenager in me that always has to wonder if he is about to mess something up, i still move foreward confident that i am making the right desicions in life.
thanks for reading,
paul durante
follow me on twitter @DewmontPaul

Lies your teachers tell you.

The notion that school is important is itself a delusion. Jobs are important, and while an extended education is most certainly a typically critical way of obtaining one, understanding the thought process of William Blake (an arrogant asshole if ever there was one) will not help me at any important moment of my life. On my wedding day (next July my friends) understanding the metaphorical implications of Thel will not do me any favors. When my first child is born (not next July) understanding the signifigance of “Cry’s from the Daughters of Albinon,” will not do me any favors. Granted, I am an English major, which of course means that my studies are largely confined to a socially structured notion of what is or is not important. Essentially, Dante (who is far less an asshole than Blake though hardly more exciting) is important because my suit wearing PHD tainted professor says the he is. The truth of course is that that is not correct. I am the same person that I was two years ago, regardless of what I now know about the historical undertones of what Mary Shelly was saying in Frankenstein. I will make the allowance of mentioning that I do like books, and while I very clearly have a particularly harsh disdain for Mr. Blake, some of the texts that we read aren’t so bad. I have enjoyed the Illiad, the Odessey, the works of Langston Hughes and Mary Shelley, and even that of Jane Austin. Dante is interesting as well, and so are the works of Junot Diaz and Michael Chabon. And for the grand total of seventy five dollars and an amazon account, I could have obtained and read those texts at my leisure. Instead I spend my days literally tens of thousands of dollars in debt reading three weeks at a time and wondering what my teachers want me to say about them. I feel it goes without saying that this is not a pleasant existance.
“Shut the hell up you stupid piece of shit and go back to acting poorly and calling yourself Stirfry!”
WOAH. Some hostility from the back. OK, i can recognize that some of my complaints are exclusive to my major, and that I am indeed a bad actor with a knack for naming characters after food. But does that mean that I am wrong, and that the education system is perfect? I don’t think so.
While I have chosen a field of study in which all texts are subjective and the act of judging an assesment of said texts is a shocking abuse of power, the same can not be said of all majors. Biology is for an example a major that very well might actually be a necessary step in the process of working in the field of science. While I hate the notion that a sustainable job can essentially only be obtained through continued education, I can readily accept the fact that for many fields extended learning is necessary. Doctors for example should feel free to learn as much as they can before they start cutting people open. But does it have to be so expensive? My campus has multiple show piece buildings constructed costly for the sake of archticture and maintained thoroughly each year so as not to degrade. That’s where my tuition is going. At my old school (the inspiration for Dewmont) half of my classes took place in trailers behind campus, and the yearly tuition was 6000$ . You can call me an asshole, but it simply does not make sense to say that the way that we spend money for education is practicle. We need more Dewmont, and A whole hell of a lot less Harvard.
Thanks ,
Think I’m an ignorant fool? Take to the internet to tell me! Follow me on Twitter @DewmontPaul and tell me all about how silly I am.