looking through the catolog of some of my own posts like the self indulguent nit wit that i am i came to the conclusion that i swear far too much in my writing. its no wonder that no one reads these things. christ, i wouldnt show it to my grandmother, let alone a complete stranger. i have three posts with the word bullshit in the title. that comes out to two percent of my posts. granted that isnt a substantial number, and the math is almost definitely incorrect anyway, but still by my best estimation, a good two percent of my work is quite literal bullshit. what sort of writer am i? how can i possibly expect to get a person such any sort of attention with such horrible…content? why should you, my dear reader, read a scum bag such as myself? well i dont really have the answer for that. perhaps its in the bible? turn the other cheek? part red seas? hang out with prostitutes? whatever it takes to get you to continue reading is cool with me. after all, a case could be made that this is exactly what the world needs. in a reality in which americas favorite tv dad is a sexual monster, perhaps americas most mediocre angry blogger could fulfill the role of some sort of saint. at the very least ill leave you feeling good about your own grammar and writing skills. so yes, yes i do swear an inordanite amount of the time, and no i dont plan on stopping, but i ask you, whats so wrong with that? after all, are swear words not socially defined? is it not only predicated on public perception that words like “fuck, shit, and…more fucking shit,” are not stables of infants vocabulary? is it not tyrannical that the timids ears dictate the speech of the more open tongued? is it not blasphemous that a person such as myself and i dont know, say, the pope could not walk down the street hand in hand, him praying, and me screaming about fucking shits? because thats what i want. thats the world that i want to live in. a world in which “fucking shit,” and “amen,” can exist within the same plains of speech. where words like “hell,” and “damn,” are not just things that catholics threaten us with, but are instead common facets of our over all speech. where words like “fucking,” are commonly accepted adjectives. how hot is that soup? really fucking hot president obama. do you see how nice that is? i have a dream kids. a big fucking dream.
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An Opinion Column
By Drake Mahoney
Is there really such thing as a bad word? There are bad phrases sure (see Paris Hilton’s ‘That’s Hot’) but can a word itself be inherently bad? The answer is a simple no. People can be bad (see Paris Hilton) but the words that they say are simply that, just words.
I’ve always found it odd how far parents will go to keep their kids from hearing swear words. While it can be presumed that Jason Voorhees was entirely a product of foul language (just kidding…you knew that right?), one can positively assume that in real life, an occasional F bomb here or there isn’t going to do a tremendous amount of harm to your child. So what is the problem? What makes parents leap out of their seats the second they hear the phrase “cock Nazi” at a McDonalds play place? Survey says….It’s embarrassing!
That’s right, embarrassing. Parents don’t won’t their kids to say bad words, because they will say them to other kids, who will tell say them to their parents, (who also say bad words) and then the original set of parents will be judged, because only heartless bastards say bad words.
So that brings me to my final point, fuck what other people say. What makes a word bad is how it used, not by the setting it is said in. “That’s fucking funny”, is an entirely different statement than “Fuck Cock Nazis”. The first is a simple expression of oneself, flavored with a choice word, while the other is a hateful, albeit very specific utterance of discrimination. Do you see the difference? People do not become hateful or aggressive because of foul language, and contrary to what I said earlier, neither did Jason Voorhees (it was because his mother is a dick, spoilers). So what’s the conclusion? Swear to your hearts content. Swear to show you are happy; swear to show you’re sad. Swear to show anything except for hatred, and most of all, never swear against“cock Nazis”.