I hate college, not purely in the sense that I do not like being told ridiculous nonsense that in no way actually benefits my life (though I do truly and utterly hate that). No, I hate the notion of culturally mandated higher education for what my pretentious self assured mind considers to be more enlightened reasons. You might feel differently. Here’s why you’re wrong.
- The Cost-inordinate to what you receive. This summer I paid a literal 1000$ to take an online film class. I never met my teacher, I never spoke to her, emailed her, or even aw her face, nor could I tell you who else was in my class. What we did? Watched movies. I paid a thousand dollars for a PHD to decide my Netflix que. It’s nonsense. -And what do they do with that money? New buildings, better football players, perhaps a statue of a former school President that none of the students currently enrolled at the University were even aware of. Nonsense bullshit that is putting you tens of thousands of dollars in debt. “But Paul, most of those things are bought by grants, and donations, you ignorant slut.” Well first of all my good man, slut is a cancerous word that our society uses to slap women in their faces, and it is one that should not be uttered on my blog. Second, I know that you ignorant ass munch (not to offend the ass munchers out there). But these things are bought because that is the way in which the world of the university has defined itself. Grand buildings, tremendous stadiums, and expensive sports teams with which to fill them. Silliness. I spent three semesters at a community college- same resources as my current university, but a literal fourth of the cost.
- “College prepares you for the real world”. Haha oh does it? That real world where you party five nights out of the week, work sporadic day time hours, and pay some one hefty fees to boss you around? College is nothing like the real world. it’s not even similar. Yes, it provides you a chance to move out of your parents house, but guess what? For 450 a month you can do that anyway.
- “College makes you a smarter, more well informed member of society.” Oh does it? I wish someone had told me that four years ago, I might have found the time to smile about it. That’s horse shit, and you know it. College, as in everything else, can only inform you as much as you decide you want it to. You want to be informed? Read a newspaper, they’re seventy five cents. So what am i proposing? Nothing. This system isn’t going anywhere, and it never will. It’s too ingrained in our society for it to go anywhere. All i can suggest is that we stop pretending that it is some temple of enlightenment, and call it what it is- an institution used to designate the haves and have nots. Those with degrees- now deemed worthy of a decent job, and those without, who can’t hope to. It’s bullshit, but it’s our bullshit, so own up to it.
Thanks for reading.
Follow me on Twitter @DewmontPaul
Isn’t it ironic he way in which college forces you to spend inordinate amounts of money (in relation to the services that it provides) that put you tremendously in debt, just so that one day you might get a job that pays a decent wage? Emphasis on the word “might” by the way. Because there are no definite’s. Hard work won’t under all circumstances yield your dream life, and conversely, supreme stupidity will not always leave you homeless (see every single reality tv star ever). There are no guarantees in life, even though it feels like maybe there should be, and while this is regrettable, it is not something that will be changed by activism, as it is really only as prevelent these days as the cause is trendy.
In that regard the less academically inclined among us are still out of luck. It seems that so few people have found fault with this system that requires us to put ourselves deeply into debt just for the chance at a job that provides a live able wage. People get so caught up with this “need” for a higher education, that they don’t ever stop to think that their could possibly be an alternative. Perhaps they are right not to dwell on it. Perhaps this “Hunger Games,” esque, survival of the fittest arena of education and job hunting has become so institutionalized that the probability of other options gaining traction are so slim that the efforts to create such a thing would be better directed elsewhere. Either way, it’s something to think about isn’t it. I’ve always figured that your degree costs a good deal more than the sticker price. Besides four years of your life, it costs your dreams. That is not to say that everyone can, or should dedicate their lives to the pursuit of a rock and roll career that they will never have, but rather it just seems worth mentioning that once they take that plunge, get that degree, and enter into white corporate America, I do believe that they pay not just the hundred thousand dollars or so of tuition, but also that creative fire in their belly that they had had up until their eighteenth birthday. And that passion you can never get back.
Food for thought.
Follow me on Twitter @DewmontPaul
I wax quite often on this blog, on how very negatively I feel about the pursuit of my degree. Perhaps such feelings are justified, but then perhaps not. I am one to obseess over the futility of higher education. To what degree to these classes actually service me, or anyone for that matter? All of the books that truly shaped my world view, “To Kill a Mockingbird,” “Lord of The Flies,” “the Grapes of Wrath,” were read when I was just barely a teenager. All of the other texts of meanign to me, I have discovered myself. Yes some of the books that I have read in college have been interesting, but they do not shape me, they do not define me, and in fact, they mostly irritate me.
“But you didn’t have to be an English Major!”
Yes, thank you internet stranger, I know that. And thus the title. Is college bullshit, or am I? With Fifty or so majors to chose from, surely one would strike my fancy enough to keep me from boring you on the internet about it. I might have thought that said major was English, given that the only thing that I have ever wanted to do was write, but what can you do? Such has not been the case. SO maybe the problem is me, because I hoentst to God do not like college folks. First, the teachers. Folks that assume upon their own speculative knowledge to the point that they think their words are gracing the ears of the masses. In the English department, that consists largely of alluding to all of the things that might symbolize the penis. But then there are the students. The over enthused, that answer everything as though their penis related ideas are also worth sharing. It goes without saying that they aren’t my cup of tea. Then there is the Greek students. No, not the race, the bumbling fools that can hardly articulate a sentence, let alone come to a conclusion about one that belongs to someone else. Not my cup of tea either. In fact the only college students that I do appreciate is the other silent types, be they slackers, like myself, or simply shy students. They are the students that keep me from standing out. The ones that are there to cushion the teachers notion of who is or is not participating in class, which is good, because the very last thing that the slacker wants is to be noticed.
So you tell me, is the problem bitter old me in the back of the classroom, or the system that requires me to do so to get a job?
Thanks for reading,
Follow me on Twitter @DewmontPaul