Blog Archives

Weed, Urine, and Motherf***ing Joe Biden

Hello friends, family, the indifferent other!  For those of you that don’t know, my name is Paul Durante, and for the last year or so, I have been working on developing a web series titled “The Dewmont Daze.”  In that time, I have released a mdoerate amount of shorts, but the series itself was stalled several times.  BUT now it’s finally here, and you can watch it.

Yes that’s right, for the low low price of no money whatsoever, you can let my mediocrity inspire you into creating some of your own.  And the best part?  Each episode is only seven to eight minutes long.  Did you ever see Avatar?  That bullshit went on for three God damn hours, and by the time it was over all that we learned was that it costs a half billion dollars to make a statement on human wastefulness.  But that’s not the nonsense that you get here- no, with my series you can get loads of human wastefulness in seven minute incriments!  SUPPORT A DIRECTOR THAT RESPECTS YOUR TIME!

Ok, so that said, here is the second episode!

If you have watched any of my previous videos, you might recognize two of the characters.

But wait!  You’re saying that you haven’t seen episode 1?  Well that’s no problem, you could probably manage episode two without having seen it, but fuck that!  Here it is, free of charge, and of blue people!

There you go!  Free entertainment, littered with weed, urine, and Motherfucking Joe Biden!

Thanks for watching

Paul Durante

Follow me on Twitter @DewmontPaul

Advertisements

Coffee Pee

Dear Everyone,

If you have not read my previous article, “Coffee Poop,” please go back and check it out, otherwise I am pretty certain that you will be completely lost.  Is everyone caught up? Ok, good.  Why does coffee make us pee? It’s silly.  I would like to say, “Excuse me Mr. Coffee, but I am trying to read an awesome Daily Dewmont News Blog post, but you are making me pee instead.” It’s a travesty.  The urine occurs frequently, and when it does it comes out almost smelling like coffee! Is that your game Mr. Coffee? Are you trying to get us to drink our own urine?!

Yeedin Yip Yip and Shit,

Love,

Otto

I have to Pee

Otto’s Musings

I Have To Pee

By Otto

It’s true.  I have to pee.  I really really have to pee, and yet here I am typing away, hoping that it will all go away.  If it does though, where will it go? Will someone else’s body absorb it? If so, will they be able to pass a drug test? But let’s say that it doesn’t go away (because it usually doesn’t) then what will happen? Will I die? And if I do, what will my Eulogy read? “Here lies Otto, he could hold his pee like a motherfucker, love his best friend, Stirfry.” All this because I was doing lazy to go to the bathroom.  Oh well

Yeedin Yip Yip and Shit,

Love Otto