Blog Archives

Weed, Urine, and Motherf***ing Joe Biden

Hello friends, family, the indifferent other!  For those of you that don’t know, my name is Paul Durante, and for the last year or so, I have been working on developing a web series titled “The Dewmont Daze.”  In that time, I have released a mdoerate amount of shorts, but the series itself was stalled several times.  BUT now it’s finally here, and you can watch it.

Yes that’s right, for the low low price of no money whatsoever, you can let my mediocrity inspire you into creating some of your own.  And the best part?  Each episode is only seven to eight minutes long.  Did you ever see Avatar?  That bullshit went on for three God damn hours, and by the time it was over all that we learned was that it costs a half billion dollars to make a statement on human wastefulness.  But that’s not the nonsense that you get here- no, with my series you can get loads of human wastefulness in seven minute incriments!  SUPPORT A DIRECTOR THAT RESPECTS YOUR TIME!

Ok, so that said, here is the second episode!

If you have watched any of my previous videos, you might recognize two of the characters.

But wait!  You’re saying that you haven’t seen episode 1?  Well that’s no problem, you could probably manage episode two without having seen it, but fuck that!  Here it is, free of charge, and of blue people!

There you go!  Free entertainment, littered with weed, urine, and Motherfucking Joe Biden!

Thanks for watching

Paul Durante

Follow me on Twitter @DewmontPaul

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The Dewmont Daze

Hello friends, enemies, and the indifferent other!  For those of you that do not know, my name is Paul Durante, and for the last year or so, I have been working towards developing a new web series set in the marijuanna smoke infused Dewmont Community College.  While production has been slow, and at times tedious, I am very pleased to announce that as of last night we are officially online.  That means that for the next ten weeks or so I will be posting one video a week until the lot of you get too tired of me to remain passively indifferent.  At that point, you will get hostile, and I will retreat back into my cave of make believe in which everyone likes me, and my videos never fail horribly!  Until then, join me in watching the ensuing disaster unfold!

But in all seriousness,The show really isn’t so bad.  if this is your first time reading my blog, you wouldn;t know, but throughout production our time and resources were regrettably limited.  We had about seven weeks to complete filming, with only about three hours a week to do what we had to.  Considering that we had about 114 pages of script to wade through, the task at hand was a difficult one, and equipment limitations did not end up playing to our favor.  The camera we used was a good one- a cannon t3i rebel, but unfortunately that was the extent of our technology.  Given the sporatic filming schedule, renting equipment would have come at an enormous cost, and of course as college students our budget to acquire new equipment was non existent.  The result is of course what you will find in the link above.  So, if oyu could do me the honor of watching, liking, subscribing, and commenting, I would be most appreciative.  BUT, if you don’t like it, certainly don’t let that stop you.  Call me a hack!  Tell your friends about the shit nugget of a video that you watched online.  Just be sure to pass on to them when you get the chance.  Either way they see the video 😉

Thanks for watching,

Paul Durante

Please follow me on twitter @Dewmontpaul

Thanksgiving Kush: Otto and Stirfry Give Thanks

lets make this a quicker post because…well who really reads the longer ones anyway? hi kids, my name is paul durante (on twitter @DewmontPaul) and on occasion i write and direct what is sure to be the most mediocre webseries that you have ever seen. and for your viewing pleasure, i have a new video for you all, freshly uploaded today. heres the link:

for those of you who have never seen my show, it is a short internet series in which we take a look at the lives of several people in a community college as they make the transition into adulthood. in it we explore life, death, depression, and weed….so far we’ve mostly only explored weed.
the two characters you will meet in this video are otto and stirfry. the skinny dopey named otto is played by my brother, and i play the morose but endlessly complex stirfry, who i assure you is infinitely more deep than he seems despite the fact that he only ever seems to come off as a bad actor. these videos are actually just extras: bonus material i am putting out as we go into pre production on what is to be the actual series. when we reach that point, the focus will stray somewhat from otto and stirfry, and while they will still be in it, the videos will not be one long weed joke. but for now….one long weed joke. i hope you enjoy kids, and please forgive the sound and the spotty camera work. we didnt have anyone manning the camera when we filmed it.
thanks for reading, and please do watch my video.
thanks,
paul durante
please follow me on twitter @DewmontPaul

3 AM is A lonely place to be

Hello all that are decent or perhaps indecent enough to be up at this hour, and a particularly warm thank you to those kindly enough both to be up, and to be up looking at my website.  Isn’t it dreadful? The world is sleeping, but if you are like me, you just can’t, not for the life of you.  It’s been a sort of common occurrence for me, for the majority of my life anyway.  I used to assign some sort of significance to it, as if there was some type of more profound, or perhaps even destiny oriented cause for my lack of sleep.  As if me up at four in the morning watching infomercials on the golf channel would somehow be the soil in which I would one day plant the roots that would surely lead to my term as president.  Or at least to the start of a career in infomercials.  Now I know that it is just because I have a very silly brain, that still refuses to undersanstand that activity is the very last thing that a weary brain needs.  Oh well, fools may be the last to learn but they sure as hell get it eventually.  One day you will find me, sixty years old and well rested, but until then, I blog, and write children stories about badgers.

Oh, and that brings me to what else I am doing.  It wasn’t really my intention to cover this in this post, but I also never intended write this post, so to hell with all the rules.  My girlfriend and I are currently writing a childrens book about a semi autistic badger in post apocalyptic Kansas City.  So if that sounds interesting to you some words of encouragement would be more than lovely, because frankly it isn’t as easy as you might guess.  I am also writing a full length adult geared story about a suicidal teenager hunted by a demon dog, and a ghost that likes AC/DC, and I am writing, directing, and acting in a web series, as well as podcasting and poorly maintaining this blog.  It’s a busy summer for me. 

If you have any interest in any of my projects, and it would be just dandy if you did, it’s extremely easy to track.  Of course you can always find me here, I fully intend to step up my blogging game, but you can also find me on Twitter @DewmontPaul (The link isn’t broken, it just doesn’t exist–I don’t know how to do it) on youtube at “The Dewmont Daze,” and hopefully on ITunes in the very near future at “Dewmont Speaks.” I have already uploaded a few teaser sort of videos for what is to be my web series.  There will be videos posted very regularly up until December but the actual series doesn’t really launch until December.  However, it would be great if you could check it out now.  This link actually does work.  I’d love for you all to watch it.  Subscribe if you dig it, comment to tell me how you feel about it.  Even if you hate it, I love to hear from you. http://youtu.be/DzyOApdQ4aw

 

Black Tom Saywer

It’s official! The documentary focusing on our own DCC is finally viral! the first video on ne youtube channel “The Dewmont Daze” Has just been posted earlier today.  the video features our own Funky givning a psychic reading to another student, credited only as Sean. Suprisingly, Funky sees to come through, and contact Sean’s mother.  See for yourself here.  http://youtu.be/qW_fG0A7U2k

Fighting Mopeds

Hey guys, now is the time to subscribe.  Please do me a huge favor and check out this very poorly lit trailer.  If you like it, great, keep watching! If you hate it, even better.  Watch it more and tell me I’m full of shit.  Either way, now is the time to subscribe, either to make my dreams, or crush them regularly.

Bullshit named Finals

Dear Everyone,

Finals are silly.  Its a well known fact that people don’t remember things that they learn in school, they are too busy contemplating the fame of the Kardashians, and missing Breaking Bad.  Homework is for the Amish, who don’t have Facebook, twitter, or excitement to keep them busy.  Don’t worry, chances are they wont see this.  Finals can only be attributed to one of two things.  The first is that the Professors are simply ignorant.  They do not understand that we don’t know about, or care about anything that they have said over the past few months.  It is a fair enough mistake on their part, given that they are the only people in the world that enjoy fractions. I am afraid that the second possibility is a somewhat more sinister one. Professors know that you don’t care. They aren’t stupid, not most of them anyway. They know you don’t care, and they are trying to punish you. It is time to take back the end of the school year. It is time to say “no, I don’t want to take your exam Mr./Mrs. Asshole. Fight the power!
Yeedin Yip Yip and Shit,
Love
Otto

WE LOVE WEED

Dear Everyone,

Hey gang, Otto here to turn you up and then let you down. Weed is the most astounding invention ever made.  I believe that that is a bible quote.  So why is it illegal? I love it, you love it Gandi loved it (maybe) so what monster is bold enough to make it illegal? Dr. Dre.

What?! Is Otto out of his mind? Dr. Dre is trying to keep weed illegal? Of course he is kids! Wake up.  I’m not here to try and blow your asshole out with shocking information, I am here to wake you up to the truth.  Rappers don’t want the weed being legalized, what will they have to sing about? If weed becomes legalized they might as well rap about tylonal

Yeedin Yip Yip and shit,

Love

Otto

The Politics of Pokemon

The Politics of Pokemon

An Ottotastic Musing

I’m on a roll today.  Fresh off a bathroom break, I’m ready to knock another article out of the park.  If you haven’t already read my previous post of the day “I have to pee” please do so immediately.  Otherwise, welcome back. 

Today we will be talking about the politics of Pokémon.  No, not the show featuring the immortal little boy changing the world with a pocket full of balls, today we will be examining the video game about the immortal little boy (or girl you sexist slime) that saves the world with a pocket full of balls.  Like all the reporters here at the Daily Dewmont News, I am quite the fan of the Pokémon series.  I love the movies, I love the cards, I love the show, and I love the video games.  However, what I do not love is the clear impact that inflation has had on their community.

Twelve hundred dollars

for an ultra ball? Fuck that shit, I’ll catch those critters with my hands. A million dollars for a bike? I would rather walk. A level based rate for the day care people to make your Pokémon…intimate?….I don’t really have a comment for that one, but it’s fucked up. So how do we change this? Support local business’s! No more Poke marts, no more Pokémon Centers! They are driving small mom and pop shops out of the world of Pokémon that we all know and cherish. The Pokémon economy is going to hell, and you are all out there paying for it’s one way ticket.
Yeedin Yip Yip and Shit,
Otto
Thanks for Reading! Please follow me on Twitter @DewmontPaul for more random stuff about Pokemon, and follow this blog by typing in your email on the right hand side of your screen. THANKS!

Weed

Legalize Weed…Come on man, be cool

Opinion Column

By Drake Mahoney

                I can’t tell you how many people I have seen getting arrested on campus for smoking weed.  The number is only eclipsed by the amount of people I have seen that “should” have gotten arrested for smoking.  It is undeniable that a large portion of marijuana related crime goes unreported, or at the very least, minimally punished.  There’s a reason for that.

                Think of all the shit that you see in a day.  Homework, tests, garishly dressed teachers, and approximately 800 pictures of Miley Cyrus wagging her tongue around like a dog.  Now after all of that nonsense, would you really want to spend several hours, arresting and booking someone for smoking weed? Of course not.  Now imagine if you spent your entire day dealing with beatings, robberies, and human atrocities we would only ever hear about if we didn’t use twitter as our primary source of news.  After all that shit do you really think that you would want to arrest someone for smoking a joint? Before you even contemplate it, just say no.  It makes things easier for me.

                As you can tell, this isn’t any sort of formal persuasive essay.  I didn’t research this; I’m just telling you what I think.

                A lot of people argue that weed should be legal because it is tremendously less dangerous than alcohol.  This is true, but it is also a horrible argument.  That does not make a good case for weed; it simply makes a good case for the illegalization of alcohol….Do not try and makes a good case for the illegalization of alcohol.

                There are indeed good arguments on both sides of the debate, but even as I try my best to step outside of my role as a college student and see the issue from an unbiased perspective, I still fall on the side of legalization.  It’s simple, drug dealers (and I mean the dangerous ones, not the guy that always leaves his phone in your car) want weed to be illegal.  Why is that? It’s where they make all of their money!

                Our culture is more or less rooted in revenue.  It’s the sad truth, but it is the truth nonetheless.  Weed will make the United States Government money.  No it won’t erase the debt ceiling, no it won’t stop the wars (although a case could be made that it might spark some peace) but it will certainly make that shit less of a bummer. 

                I can’t prove, or even fairly speculate that the legalization of wee will have a profound impact on the lives of every day citizens, or on our government as a whole, but there are some undeniably true benefits that would stem from it.  Jobs would be created, there would be less people in prison, less senseless arrests, more money generated, and most importantly, it would virtually erase a culture of violence that surrounds it due to its current legal standings.  But even more importantly, come on man, be cool.