Blog Archives

Please Read This

Dear Everyone,

Hi.  I would like you to read this.  I would like you to read all of this, because it makes me happy when you read this.  Cheezitz also make me happy.  You could get me cheezitz if you wanted and I would also be happy, but in order to know that you should do that, you would have to have read this. 

Anyway, school is stupid right? I have six assaignments to do right now, and instead I’m writing about Cheezitz.  I didn’t even bother to check and see if I was spelling it right.  I probably wasn’t! Anyway, If you are like me and you need to do work, but you don’t want to, you should further explore our site.  Most of the articles on here are far better than this one, and the ones that aren’t are written by me!

Yeedin Yip Yip and Shit,

Otto

Butt Stuff

Dear Everyone,

Have you ever looked at your butt, and found that there is stuff in and around it? No, I’m not talking about jewelry, or cell phone chargers.  I’m talking about lent (not the catholic thing, the butt stuff thing).  How does it get there? I didn’t put it there, and to be honest, I didn’t really want it to be there to begin with.  Is someone putting it there for me? I don’t want them to.

Yeedin Yip Yip and Shit,

Sincerely yours,

Otto

The Politics of Pokemon

The Politics of Pokemon

An Ottotastic Musing

I’m on a roll today.  Fresh off a bathroom break, I’m ready to knock another article out of the park.  If you haven’t already read my previous post of the day “I have to pee” please do so immediately.  Otherwise, welcome back. 

Today we will be talking about the politics of Pokémon.  No, not the show featuring the immortal little boy changing the world with a pocket full of balls, today we will be examining the video game about the immortal little boy (or girl you sexist slime) that saves the world with a pocket full of balls.  Like all the reporters here at the Daily Dewmont News, I am quite the fan of the Pokémon series.  I love the movies, I love the cards, I love the show, and I love the video games.  However, what I do not love is the clear impact that inflation has had on their community.

Twelve hundred dollars

for an ultra ball? Fuck that shit, I’ll catch those critters with my hands. A million dollars for a bike? I would rather walk. A level based rate for the day care people to make your Pokémon…intimate?….I don’t really have a comment for that one, but it’s fucked up. So how do we change this? Support local business’s! No more Poke marts, no more Pokémon Centers! They are driving small mom and pop shops out of the world of Pokémon that we all know and cherish. The Pokémon economy is going to hell, and you are all out there paying for it’s one way ticket.
Yeedin Yip Yip and Shit,
Otto
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